How can we reconcile the good and the bad of the Internet?
Can good and bad coexist?
When I brought home my first baby, I had been warned – sleep will be tough. I had also been told, by friends and family, that there were tools I could use to get through those sleepless nights. The two most important tools: The Snoo – essentially a robot parent and crib combined – and Moms on Call – a guide on how to train your baby to sleep.
One warning that I did not hear from friends or family — not all babies will respond to the most common tools. The crib robot failed me. The sleep “bible” provided little relief. Like countless moms before me, I turned to the Internet.
I Googled some insane queries — will my baby ever sleep? why can’t I make my baby sleep? is it normal to sleep in 30 minute increments when you are 4 weeks old? I found myself on forums that I didn’t know existed. I followed every single sleep account that I could find on Instagram. I was desperately searching for new tools that would help my baby.
Here’s where it gets tricky. Let me take you down two paths I followed.
One account gave me advice on how to teach my baby to self-soothe, to rely on me — his mother — less. Of course, this advice works for countless women and their children. The account holder created a system that works for at least part of the population, or else she wouldn’t have amassed the large following that she has. Yet, just like Moms on Call, the system didn’t work for us. I felt like a failure. What was I doing wrong?
I found another account with a modest following. This sleep expert gave me advice that didn’t fix my baby, but fixed how I was looking at the entire situation. She normalized my feelings. The account shared countless stories of other women who had tried all the “tried and true” tricks from other moms, but their babies did not sleep. To be completely frank: this social media account and the woman behind it, saved my mental sanity in those early days.
This is a prime example of what works about the Internet. There is something for everyone. You can find resources that you never would have by just word of mouth.
If I had only relied on my friends and family — the lucky motherf-ers who had good sleepers, babies who responded to all of the “tools” — I would have continued in my isolation. Who knows where that would have led me.
I see how this applies to so many things, not just the wild, wild west of parenting, but medical diagnoses, unique hobbies, and support groups.
The Internet is good
Connecting with other people we might not have ever encountered in real life, people who we can relate to in ways that we couldn’t have imagined – this is only the tip of the iceberg of the incredible things the Internet has brought to this world. It has revolutionized nearly every sector of our lives and advanced our society in ways our ancestors could have never imagined.
Healthcare: Not only has the introduction of telehealth been a major shift, but now doctors, scientists, and researchers can easily connect, share information, and collaborate
Access to social services: Streamlined access to social services has made support more readily available for vulnerable communities.
Communication: Instant messaging, social media communications, and video calls are all made possible thanks to the Internet.
Education: Learning is no longer contained in the classroom. Anyone with an internet connection can access online courses, tutorials, and videos to learn infinite topics.
Travel: Not only can we book flights, accommodations, and activities for long-distance travel, even traveling locally has shifted with the introduction of Google/Apple Maps.
Shopping: We can buy nearly anything we could ever want to at the click of a finger. In many cases, you can get what you buy in less than a day!
Productivity: Collaboration tools, Cloud services, and countless apps and tools have shifted the way we get things done.
The Internet is evil
It’s not all good though…
Social and psychological effects: From a 2016 study, “this rapid development of the Internet has a detrimental impact in our life, which leads to various phenomena such as cyber bullying, cyber porn, cyber suicide, Internet addiction, social isolation, cyber racism…” There are multiple studies that link heavy social media use with a heavy decline of mental health and the risk of depression, anxiety, and loneliness (see here, here, and here just to start)
Physical effects: Constant use of our devices has had a clear negative impact on our physical health including poor posture, eye strain, sleep problems, obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease.
Poor spending habits and increased debt: Over a third of young people admit they overspend in order to keep up with the fun they see their friends having on social media. Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL) programs have proliferated e-commerce. Some jarring statistics from Debt Hammer: 45% of young people report they use BNPL services to make purchases that don’t fit in their budgets and 55% spend more when using BNPL
Erosion of privacy: As Forbes aptly put it, “As technology makes its way into every aspect of our lives, we are increasingly trading our privacy for convenience, whether we know it or not.” We freely share our credit card and banking information, then frequently learn of data hacks. It doesn’t seem that our social security numbers are even secure anymore.
It’s no wonder that, according to Pew Research, 52% of Americans say they feel more concerned than excited about the increased use of artificial intelligence. We can see the incredible things it could bring to our society, yet we fear what misuse will be unleashed if it’s not properly regulated from the start.
So how can we reconcile all of the good the internet has brought our society with the negative ways it’s transformed our society and shifted our culture?
Even if I take a look at my life on a very individual level. I use the internet every single day in ways that I can’t imagine not having.
Google Maps
Weather apps
Banking apps
Constant Google searches
Spotify for music, podcasts, and audiobooks
I found this Op Ed in the Washington Post enlightening. The author, Christine Emba, highlights some ideas from Neil Postman’s 1998 talk “Five Things We Need to Know About Technological Change.” In sum, those 5 things are:
All technological change is a trade-off: Emba expands on this by explaining, “We pay a price for technology, and the greater the technology, the higher the price” There is no such thing as free lunch, something has to suffer.
The advantages and disadvantages of a new technology are never distributed evenly: As Emba explains, “There are always winners and losers — and the winners will try to convince the losers that they are really winners.” Oof. This brings to mind the leaders in Silicon Valley – those who profit on our reliance on their products, while limiting their own children’s access to the same products.
Embedded in every technology is a philosophy given expression in how that technology makes people use their minds and how it codifies the world. This philosophy will have practical consequences. Again, I’ll quote Emba “Computers value information over knowledge or wisdom, Postman suggested, and a world dependent on them may cause the latter to disappear. Our decisions are being made for us — and not necessarily very well.”
Technological change is not additive; it is ecological. “These new creations don’t stand alone; they change everything,” says Emba. There were countless unintended effects
Technology tends to become perceived as part of the natural order of things and thus is allowed to control more of our lives than is good for us.
Again, this is from a talk in 1998, yet it rings true to show how the Internet has, as Postman would say, evolved our culture.
Is the Internet good or evil?
Maybe instead of trying to argue “is the Internet good or evil,” we instead have to accept - what is done is done, and only we have the power to move forward in a positive light. Emba came to a similar conclusion in her Op Ed.
What I’m saying is this: Only you can determine - will I use the Internet for good or evil? Will I use the Internet as a tool to help me build a better life or will I let it dismantle my habits, degrade my mental health?
Ultimately, we cannot rely on tech companies to change their practices and put people over profit. We can hope that government policies will be enacted to protect us, but that won’t happen overnight. Only you have the power to tip the scales, to resist the negative effects of the Internet, and to reshape your life to be the version you want to live.
Hi reader. In the coming weeks, I’m launching a new reader Q&A series. If you have a question about digital minimalism or starting your own journey to break free from the internet, shoot me a message at the link below.