Is scrolling the new comfort food?

Move over mac n cheese, fast food, and binge watching tv, there’s a new comfort food in town.

Quitting Instagram was strangely easier than I expected, but after I left, I still found myself looking to fill that void. I transferred my habit to Facebook and Reddit, similar to when I tried to justify eating the Whole Foods version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch instead of the original — sugar is sugar, a scroll is a scroll. Of course, it wasn’t working, so I largely dropped those too.

I took my own advice seriously and found healthy ways to replace my doom scrolling. I’ve been getting back into Yoga, I’ve been plowing through my TBR list, and I’m looking forward to trying a new needlepoint project that I recently ordered. I’ve been using app-blocking apps to taper my morning phone routine. I’m bored a lot! In a good way! 

As a whole, I am really happy with my day-to-day habit changes. 

And yet, on the hard days, the blue days, the stressful days, the sleepy days, these dark soon-to-be winter days, I often find myself wanting to just curl up on the couch and scroll. 

Of course, I have nothing left to scroll. Still, I reach for my phone and out of desperation, I seek for any content to consume. I look through houses I can’t buy on Redfin, I scroll through movies I won’t go see on IMDb, I check my bank balance, I check the weather, I thumb through Etsy. During these gloom sessions, my brain is actually screaming at me “put down the phone! This is so boring! This is so pointless!” 

I ignore the logic and continue down this irrational path. I can’t be bothered to pick up a book or do some chores or start a stretch routine. I indulge in what has become my own form of comfort food: scrolling.

Why is it so much easier to scroll than read a book? Why is it such a heavy lift to start a podcast instead of staring at my phone? Why, when the dopamine hits aren’t even very strong, do I continue to fall into the trap I so desperately want to avoid? 

Is scrolling a self-soothing technique? 

In my research, I stumbled upon this post by The Holistic Psychologist. She says, “When we use scrolling, food, sex, work, or anything else in a compulsive way— we’re seeking a way to soothe our nervous systems….It’s our natural instinct to soothe ourselves.” 

This tracks with what I’m experiencing. I feel blue or overwhelmed or exhausted, and since I don’t have any healthy self-soothing techniques, I scroll. I am seeking out the most passive acquisition of relaxation, of escape. This is a compulsion that I have become wired to do. The truth is that this isn’t relaxing, not really, and the only thing I’m escaping are my own goals.

From Wired, “‘Doomscrolling is essentially an avoidance technique used to cope with anxiety, so wherever you are vulnerable to anxiety, doomscrolling can become an unhealthy coping mechanism,’ says Megan E. Johnson, a licensed clinical psychologist and researcher specializing in trauma and brain-behavior relationships. ‘And ironically, the very things doomscrolling can rob you of—healthy sleep, meaningful social interactions, fulfilling work, and hobbies—are also the things we know are most supportive of our mental well-being. So it becomes a vicious cycle.’”

Self-soothing, coping mechanism, however you want to spin it — if you’re like me, scrolling isn’t just an unhealthy habit, it’s a seemingly uncontrollable force from within. 

Reading all the books on digital minimalism, developing new hobbies, creating new routines – I’ve done all these things, and truly, they’ve changed my life. I am happier, my relationships are stronger than ever, I am more confident, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on some other life. But the compulsion is still there, deep down. On the hard days, I still yearn to escape through this dumb little box in my hands. 

How can I build healthier ways to self-soothe?

If you’re a parent, self-soothing is a hot topic, but I’ve never spent time thinking about my own self-soothing techniques. How did I self-soothe before my phone? Probably by binge watching TV, a close cousin to the doomscroll. Have I ever had healthy techniques for dealing with stress and anxiety? 

As a 34 year old woman, I feel ridiculous for realizing the answer is no. 

Back to the internet I go to learn “how to self-soothe as an adult.” I know before searching that the top result will be “meditate", but starting a meditation practice is hard work, and maybe something I’m not ready for yet. If reading a book feels too hard in these moments of weakness, am I really ready to enter another state of mind? I did find some other simpler alternatives.

Below, I listed my favorites from 100 ways to self-soothe as an adult by Alexandria Art Therapy, but I urge you to read her full list.

• Drink a cold glass of water - notice how it cools your body.

• Drink a hot cup of tea or coffee - notice how it warms your body.

• Take a brisk walk - sometimes self-soothing means resetting the nervous system by releasing energy through movement.

• Listen to soothing music.

• Take a shower or bath.

• Light a scented candle and watch the flame flicker.

• Tidy one small surface in your home (like a desk or shelf).

• Do the “legs up the wall” yoga pose for 10 minutes.

• Open the windows and feel the air moving inside.

• Color with crayons or colored pencils. Only stay inside the lines if you want to.

• Manipulate play-doh or putty.

• Write down a thing that is worrying you, then let it go by destroying the paper (rip, dissolve in water, burn).

• Remind yourself that no feeling is forever, and you are safe within your body. 

I’ll be honest. All of these things do sound nice. My kids are often around when I’m in one of these moods, so I included a lot of things I can do with them. But when I’m feeling weak, do I really have the willpower to choose Play Doh over my phone? Will drinking a cold glass of water really shift me out of this mood?

As with all things I’ve accomplished on this journey, the only thing I can do is start. Start small and give myself grace.

So that’s what I’ll do this week. I’ll print this list and keep it handy. I’ll have a soothing playlist ready. I’ll color with my kids. I’ll make a fresh batch of Play Doh. And my favorite one? I’ll remind myself that no feeling is forever.

The sun will shine again, but the source of that light will not be my phone, it will be this beautiful world around me.