We are addicted to our phones

Let's stop pretending that calling it an addiction is going too far.

When I started writing in this space last October, I was very hesitant to use the “a word” — addiction. I was concerned about conflating something small with something much bigger, and I didn’t want to trivialize anyone who is struggling. I included addiction resources on my homepage, and if anyone were to raise real concern about harm to themselves, my hope was to direct them to the proper places.

Yet, the deeper I dug into this world, the harder it became to avoid the idea that smartphone addiction is very real, and it’s much more pervasive than we give credit to.

Is this really an addiction?

Addiction is defined as “a neuropsychological disorder characterized by a persistent and intense urge to use a drug or engage in a behavior that produces natural reward, despite substantial harm and other negative consequences.”

With that definition in mind, let’s take a look into the latest set of phone-use statistics released by Reviews.org:

• Over 80% of Americans check their phones within 10 minutes of waking up

• Americans check their phones 205 times per day

• Americans spend 5 hours, 1 minute on their phones daily

  • Gen Z spends 6 hours and 18 minutes

  • Millennials 6 hours and 2 minutes

  • Gen X 4 hr 54 m

• 65.7% of people check their phones while going to the bathroom

• 48.3% have never gone without their phone for 24 hours

• 76% check their phones within 5 minutes of receiving a notification

• 27% admit to using their phones while driving

• 43.2% consider themselves “addicted” to their phones

Read that last line again — over 40% of users consider themselves addicted to their phones.

Just spend a little time on subreddits like r/nosurf, r/digitalminimalism, and r/dumbphones. They are filled with a steady stream of folks who can acknowledge that they have a problem with their phone use, but they don’t know how to break the habit.

Our daily lives have become so reliant, so centered on these devices, that we can’t picture spending a day without them. Just look at the recent TikTok ban rollercoaster.

What’s the harm?

Going back to the definition of addiction – we can see that we clearly check off the first half of the definition: “a neuropsychological disorder characterized by a persistent and intense urge to use a drug or engage in a behavior that produces natural reward”

So how do we fare on the second half — “...despite substantial harm and other negative consequences”?

I’ve written at length about the degradation of our mental and physical health due to our phone and social media use. Multitasking has eroded our ability to focus, our physical health is declining, we hide from our anxieties, and we are lonelier than ever.

But that’s not all, and I’m not the only one voicing alarm bells:

• Pew Research on the Negatives of Digital Life

• NCBI Study on Social and Psychological Effects of the Internet Use

• NYT Op Ed - The Internet is a Wasteland

• NPR on How Social Media use impacts Teenage Mental Health

• NYT Surgeon General Warns that Social Media May Harm Adolescents

• Study Examining the Impact of Digital Detox Interventions on Anxiety and Depression Levels Among Young Adults

Yet, we still do not clearly state the obvious — we have a new addiction crisis in our society.

When we don’t call a spade a spade, in this case, an addiction an addiction, we are doing a disservice to real people who need help.

Do I think all social media users are addicted? No, of course not. Many people create boundaries and can stick to them. Many people scroll for a bit, then get bored and actually log off. Many people couldn’t be bothered to check in on social media.

But many, many, many people cannot resist the urge to check in, to scroll, to post and check back for likes and comments, to engage in this pretend and fantasy world as a means to escape their own real and physical life.

Let’s call it what it is.

So why is it a taboo to call the excessive time we spend on our phones an addiction? Why don’t we take it seriously?

Even in sources that I found that acknowledge it can be addictive, the “solutions” they provide are weak. From Harvard Business Review (on social media specifically):

“These platforms are designed to trap viewers in a social media rabbit hole: They offer bite-sized content that makes it easy to quickly consume several videos or posts in a row, they often automatically suggest similar content, and many of them even automatically start playing similar videos, reducing the potential for interruptions. While presenting users with engaging content isn’t necessarily a bad thing, the accessibility of this media is exactly what makes it so hard for users to break free from the rabbit hole and get back to whatever they were working on.”

Then, they follow it up with this load of unhelpful advice:

“We’re more likely to get sucked in if we view many photos or videos in a row, if we consume multiple pieces of similar content, and if we are uninterrupted while consuming that content. So, to combat the pull of the rabbit hole, make an effort to just watch one video; if you really want to watch multiple in a row, choose videos that seem unrelated; or find ways to intentionally interrupt your viewing experience. There are countless strategies that can help you break the cycle: You can use a social media timer that prompts you to take a break after a certain amount of time, keep a sticky note on your desk with a note to avoid watching too many videos in a row, or even just consciously remind yourself to consume different kinds of content.”

Imagine telling someone who is struggling with an eating disorder to “make an effort to eat just one bite of ice cream,” someone who is battling a porn addiction to “make an effort to watch just one clip,” or an alcoholic to “make an effort to have just one drink.”

Why is our unhealthy phone use any different than cigarettes? Drugs? Alcohol? Porn? Eating disorders? Gambling?

Let’s acknowledge the distinction between substance and behavioral addictions. So, if we are to take cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol out of the equation, are our phone addictions really so different than the other behavioral addictions?

Do we shy away from naming it an addiction because our lives are too reliant on our phones? Is it because the most pertinent side effect of overuse is mental health, and despite huge progress in that category, we still do not take it seriously enough? Do our phones need to literally cause cancer before we will acknowledge that it’s a real addiction?

Or would we take it more seriously if social media wasn’t so deeply intertwined into our social lives, our businesses, our entertainment? Maybe the government would step in if tech leaders didn’t play into their every whim? See: recent Meta changes ahead of Trump presidency.

The addiction is real. So what will we do about it?

Maybe this will be divisive, but I want to set it straight — if you are scrolling on social media for more than an hour a day, if you ever feel during that scrolling session “what am I doing here,?” if you are turning to social media when you’re feeling anxious or sad, if you are picking up your phone and mindlessly feeling the pull of social media, then you are probably addicted.

At the very least, you have an unhealthy relationship with your phone. You are engaging in a behavior that will lead to unhealthy consequences in your life.

But what are your options? In a society that won’t acknowledge that this is a real issue, you’re only left with making changes yourself.

It’s so deeply complicated. It goes back a bit to my conversation on cruel optimism. While of course, we are owed changes from tech companies and maybe even regulation from government, the fact is, we are only left with ourselves.